Football Friends with Benefits

I grew up as an only child and a severe asthmatic. Often, my parents wouldn't let me out of the house. I make friends kind of easily, and I have always loved to hang out with them. In the age
before video games, my strategy to becoming a gregarious shut-in was to get every board game
I could, learn how to play them all, and make up a bunch of new games involving hundreds of
plastic soldiers plus all my mom's hair curlers, wooden blocks, and a boatload of rubber bands.
All of this, plus my stand-up comedy routines and the home-made goodies my mom provided
made my house a popular after-school hangout.

Although I was an expert in most indoor games, and made up the rules for some of my own, I knew my friends would not keep coming back if I won all the time, or even most of the time. I was careful to win just enough to keep the competition interesting, but not enough to discourage anyone from playing. Thus, I intentionally failed at unimportant things to gain friendships. This was much better than paying cash for people to like me.

Now let's look at BYU football. The well-understood but seldom articulated goal for the program is to make friends for The Church. We want to save people from heck by not beating the heck out of them. Even an unobservant person can see this strategy at work. We like Florda State, and want to recruit Floridians. Yes, I admit, we COULD have made the game more interesting,
but I know from experience intentionally not quite winning is a razor's edge challenge, not an exact science.

Notice also that we let the Air Force Academy and University of Washington win every few years or so by way of intermittent reinforcement. Most of us know how amazingly effective that strategy is (think Vegas slot machines), and I think we need to get going on that kind of program with Florida State, Notre Dame, UCLA, and at least one of the SEC schools.